Part 1
It's September, 2012. My house is now gone, the foreclosure process completed on the 10th. I feel empty and lost. While many things were wrong with the house, it was home for almost 7 years. We did not plan for things to go the way they did. Upon purchasing in January, 2006, the plan had been live there for 5 years, flip it, take the equity and each buy our own place. Little did we know a failing American economy and a unethical housing market was about to crash down in 2008.
Flash back 2008 - 2010:
We tried to work with the bank, the mortgage was so upside down, that had something gone wrong with the house, we wouldn't be able to afford to fix it. This spanned from boilers, to electrical wiring, to the roof and all the windows. The bank refused to offer any of the numerous assistance plans they had quickly come up with when this crisis started. We made too much money, even me on unemployment for 6 months. We were too rich to get help, and too poor to help ourselves, so we made the hard decision to walk away.
This year I had to deal with the 2nd mortgage, which unbeknownst to us, can turn to unsecured debt on a foreclosure. With the threat of wage garnishment on my doorstep, I opted to scrape up enough, and pray they would work with me. They did, they took a cash settlement from me for a little less than 1/2 the balance. This was after close to 6 months of negotiation letters that were getting nowhere. Wells Fargo doesn't back down. This prevented me from having to file for Bankruptcy, which although being without my cushion of savings, was the better choice for the long run. This whole process was a constant "kick me while I'm down" scenario, and it really worse me down.
There is a lot more that happened between then and now, which I will get to later. Right now I am trying to find myself again. I am lost at sea, home gone, pride swallowed, having to start over with nothing. I don't know what I want to do, what does one do when they "start over"? My dreams? Long ago forgotten. The nights are long, days longer, routines and things I am familiar with, no longer in existence.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Oh Lawrd!!!
I need to take this up again. Facebook is not the place to express yourself, apparently. Too many sheeple there, too many who don't want to know the Truth......time to move here!!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
No really....I AM still trying!
Summer has zipped by, it's already getting cold out, the dog's busy fall coursing season is about to begin. I am still employed (knock on wood), will be looking for a place to move this spring, preferably over in the St. Paul 'burbs, and yeah...that's it in a nutshell!
Been doing a lot of research on 911 truth, and will be attending a function with friends this Sunday on the 10 year anniversary of when our own country killed thousands of it's own people in the name of war, money and oil.
I honestly need to post more here. I have gotten into too much trouble on Facebook because I guess the unwritten rule there is don't say anything someone might not agree with. Who needs that crap? Though I am "friends" with some people who I really don't want to see the latest animal humping picture someone sent me, so maybe this is for the best!
Been doing a lot of research on 911 truth, and will be attending a function with friends this Sunday on the 10 year anniversary of when our own country killed thousands of it's own people in the name of war, money and oil.
I honestly need to post more here. I have gotten into too much trouble on Facebook because I guess the unwritten rule there is don't say anything someone might not agree with. Who needs that crap? Though I am "friends" with some people who I really don't want to see the latest animal humping picture someone sent me, so maybe this is for the best!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Ah, crap.
So much for keeping up! I'll try harder, really....I will!
We're still waiting for spring here, it sucks. Last year at this time, we'd already seen 80, not even a 55 in sight. The dogs want to run, we're dodging puddles and cess pools trying to get some training in. May has us at trials every weekend:
Des Moines, IA
Farmington, MN
Farmington, MN
Lawrence, KS
Along with the dogs getting in shape, I too am busting ass, and cutting out sweets. I forgot how hard that is to do, it's like meth withdrawal...I love my cupcakes!!
We're still waiting for spring here, it sucks. Last year at this time, we'd already seen 80, not even a 55 in sight. The dogs want to run, we're dodging puddles and cess pools trying to get some training in. May has us at trials every weekend:
Des Moines, IA
Farmington, MN
Farmington, MN
Lawrence, KS
Along with the dogs getting in shape, I too am busting ass, and cutting out sweets. I forgot how hard that is to do, it's like meth withdrawal...I love my cupcakes!!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Confessions of a Hoarder
2009:
Bedding, jeans, cans of soup, dog food, South Beach bars, plastic sacks of new clothes, I had it all, and it was EVERYWHERE. My kitchen table was the dump site; every time I came in, everything I had was put on or around the kitchen table. Soon, the only thing visible where the shaky legs of said table, sadly bending under the weight of nothing but crap. You see, 2009 was a rough year; I was laid off in March and spent my 3 months of severance dealing with a roller coaster of emotions. Anger, hatred, sadness, despair, all downs and no ups. I started making the best of what little money I had and I became a "collector". Saver's was my Achilles's heel. Where else could you find almost brand new GAP jeans for $10?? I have over 50 pairs of jeans. Where else can you get a Ralph Lauren blanket, with the original tags still on it....for $8? Yeah, you get the point.
The backroom in my house is piled 6 foot high with my "collections". The door stays closed, and nobody knows about my dirty little secret. There is a guest bed in there...somewhere....I think some of my missing items made their way into that room, but I do not know. My poor bike has not been ridden in 2 years; he sits in the hallway collecting dust along with a couple kennels and boxes for my TV and computer I can't throw away because I don't want the neighbors to know what goods I have. And where did that cooler come from? And why is there a broken printer still here? Can't count how many times I have barked my ankles on that thing going to the can.
2010:
I learned A LOT from 2009. I learned that material things mean jack shit. It's not what you have that makes you who you are. That was a hard concept to learn, as I have always been one that hasn't gone without. It was a humbling experience because I started not wanting things; I was no longer jealous if a friend got a huge flat screen TV, because mine worked great. I was becoming a minimalist.
2011:
My collecting has dropped quite a bit, sans my affinity for purchases at CostCo (who DOESN'T need 52 packs of Quaker Oatmeal?). I did get a new computer, and was given a TV as a gift. I am satisfied, my need to run out and stock up on jeans and socks has subsided. I found that going back to old things brings much satisfaction too. Particular in the literary sense, re-reading the old classic books has opened my eyes to the fact that history does in fact repeat itself....I just hope I am exempt from that part, I would hate to catch myself buying 15 blankets again ;)
My plan for 2010 is to clean out that room. I don't think it will be an issue, nothing has meaning, it's going to be more of a pain in the ass getting it out of here. With an impending foreclosure, I have to make my life more portable, and not have to have a semi truck;)
Bedding, jeans, cans of soup, dog food, South Beach bars, plastic sacks of new clothes, I had it all, and it was EVERYWHERE. My kitchen table was the dump site; every time I came in, everything I had was put on or around the kitchen table. Soon, the only thing visible where the shaky legs of said table, sadly bending under the weight of nothing but crap. You see, 2009 was a rough year; I was laid off in March and spent my 3 months of severance dealing with a roller coaster of emotions. Anger, hatred, sadness, despair, all downs and no ups. I started making the best of what little money I had and I became a "collector". Saver's was my Achilles's heel. Where else could you find almost brand new GAP jeans for $10?? I have over 50 pairs of jeans. Where else can you get a Ralph Lauren blanket, with the original tags still on it....for $8? Yeah, you get the point.
The backroom in my house is piled 6 foot high with my "collections". The door stays closed, and nobody knows about my dirty little secret. There is a guest bed in there...somewhere....I think some of my missing items made their way into that room, but I do not know. My poor bike has not been ridden in 2 years; he sits in the hallway collecting dust along with a couple kennels and boxes for my TV and computer I can't throw away because I don't want the neighbors to know what goods I have. And where did that cooler come from? And why is there a broken printer still here? Can't count how many times I have barked my ankles on that thing going to the can.
2010:
I learned A LOT from 2009. I learned that material things mean jack shit. It's not what you have that makes you who you are. That was a hard concept to learn, as I have always been one that hasn't gone without. It was a humbling experience because I started not wanting things; I was no longer jealous if a friend got a huge flat screen TV, because mine worked great. I was becoming a minimalist.
2011:
My collecting has dropped quite a bit, sans my affinity for purchases at CostCo (who DOESN'T need 52 packs of Quaker Oatmeal?). I did get a new computer, and was given a TV as a gift. I am satisfied, my need to run out and stock up on jeans and socks has subsided. I found that going back to old things brings much satisfaction too. Particular in the literary sense, re-reading the old classic books has opened my eyes to the fact that history does in fact repeat itself....I just hope I am exempt from that part, I would hate to catch myself buying 15 blankets again ;)
My plan for 2010 is to clean out that room. I don't think it will be an issue, nothing has meaning, it's going to be more of a pain in the ass getting it out of here. With an impending foreclosure, I have to make my life more portable, and not have to have a semi truck;)
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Is there Anybody OUT there?
It's been a long long time since I have kept up a blog. I miss it. The years I was actively writing about meaningless shit, so were my friends, and we had a cool little web ring going. Facebook stole all the glamour from blogs, dumbing it down to just a line or two about your insignificant activities instead of whole paragraphs. I talk too much, I know it, you all probably know it too. I have ADHD, so my head is constantly filled with random thoughts that I sometimes feel the need to share...with anyone, anyone who will listen ;)
The old phrase of "Familiarity breeds contempt" is so true for Facebook. I have had more cyber fights and spats over the lamest things ever, then in RL. I refuse to stop being me for the sake of someone tired of hearing about the race meets, or some sick ass picture I find amusing. I am tired of being depressed, and while I know it's a disease I will fight the rest of my life, if I can be up, then fuck it, I will be up!! :)
We'll see how it goes......it really helps to write stuff down, even if your only audience is you.
The old phrase of "Familiarity breeds contempt" is so true for Facebook. I have had more cyber fights and spats over the lamest things ever, then in RL. I refuse to stop being me for the sake of someone tired of hearing about the race meets, or some sick ass picture I find amusing. I am tired of being depressed, and while I know it's a disease I will fight the rest of my life, if I can be up, then fuck it, I will be up!! :)
We'll see how it goes......it really helps to write stuff down, even if your only audience is you.
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