Confessions of a Hoarder

2009:

Bedding, jeans, cans of soup, dog food, South Beach bars, plastic sacks of new clothes, I had it all, and it was EVERYWHERE. My kitchen table was the dump site; every time I came in, everything I had was put on or around the kitchen table. Soon, the only thing visible where the shaky legs of said table, sadly bending under the weight of nothing but crap. You see, 2009 was a rough year; I was laid off in March and spent my 3 months of severance dealing with a roller coaster of emotions. Anger, hatred, sadness, despair, all downs and no ups. I started making the best of what little money I had and I became a "collector". Saver's was my Achilles's heel. Where else could you find almost brand new GAP jeans for $10?? I have over 50 pairs of jeans. Where else can you get a Ralph Lauren blanket, with the original tags still on it....for $8? Yeah, you get the point.

The backroom in my house is piled 6 foot high with my "collections". The door stays closed, and nobody knows about my dirty little secret. There is a guest bed in there...somewhere....I think some of my missing items made their way into that room, but I do not know. My poor bike has not been ridden in 2 years; he sits in the hallway collecting dust along with a couple kennels and boxes for my TV and computer I can't throw away because I don't want the neighbors to know what goods I have. And where did that cooler come from? And why is there a broken printer still here? Can't count how many times I have barked my ankles on that thing going to the can.

2010:

I learned A LOT from 2009. I learned that material things mean jack shit. It's not what you have that makes you who you are. That was a hard concept to learn, as I have always been one that hasn't gone without. It was a humbling experience because I started not wanting things; I was no longer jealous if a friend got a huge flat screen TV, because mine worked great. I was becoming a minimalist.

2011:

My collecting has dropped quite a bit, sans my affinity for purchases at CostCo (who DOESN'T need 52 packs of Quaker Oatmeal?). I did get a new computer, and was given a TV as a gift. I am satisfied, my need to run out and stock up on jeans and socks has subsided. I found that going back to old things brings much satisfaction too. Particular in the literary sense, re-reading the old classic books has opened my eyes to the fact that history does in fact repeat itself....I just hope I am exempt from that part, I would hate to catch myself buying 15 blankets again ;)

My plan for 2010 is to clean out that room. I don't think it will be an issue, nothing has meaning, it's going to be more of a pain in the ass getting it out of here. With an impending foreclosure, I have to make my life more portable, and not have to have a semi truck;)

Is there Anybody OUT there?

It's been a long long time since I have kept up a blog. I miss it. The years I was actively writing about meaningless shit, so were my friends, and we had a cool little web ring going. Facebook stole all the glamour from blogs, dumbing it down to just a line or two about your insignificant activities instead of whole paragraphs. I talk too much, I know it, you all probably know it too. I have ADHD, so my head is constantly filled with random thoughts that I sometimes feel the need to share...with anyone, anyone who will listen ;)

The old phrase of "Familiarity breeds contempt" is so true for Facebook. I have had more cyber fights and spats over the lamest things ever, then in RL. I refuse to stop being me for the sake of someone tired of hearing about the race meets, or some sick ass picture I find amusing. I am tired of being depressed, and while I know it's a disease I will fight the rest of my life, if I can be up, then fuck it, I will be up!! :)

We'll see how it goes......it really helps to write stuff down, even if your only audience is you.