Thinking back and wondering about choices.

 Part 1

 It's September, 2012.  My house is now gone, the foreclosure process completed on the 10th.  I feel empty and lost.  While many things were wrong with the house, it was home for almost 7 years.  We did not plan for things to go the way they did.  Upon purchasing in January, 2006, the plan had been live there for 5 years, flip it, take the equity and each buy our own place.  Little did we know a failing American economy and a unethical housing market was about to crash down in 2008.

Flash back 2008 - 2010:

We tried to work with the bank, the mortgage was so upside down, that had something gone wrong with the house, we wouldn't be able to afford to fix it.  This spanned from boilers, to electrical wiring, to the roof and all the windows.  The bank refused to offer any of the numerous assistance plans they had quickly come up with when this crisis started.  We made too much money, even me on unemployment for 6 months.  We were too rich to get help, and too poor to help ourselves, so we made the hard decision to walk away.

This year I had to deal with the 2nd mortgage, which unbeknownst to us, can turn to unsecured debt on a foreclosure.  With the threat of wage garnishment on my doorstep, I opted to scrape up enough, and pray they would work with me.  They did, they took a cash settlement from me for a little less than 1/2 the balance. This was after close to 6 months of negotiation letters that were getting nowhere.  Wells Fargo doesn't back down.  This prevented me from having to file for Bankruptcy, which although being without my cushion of savings, was the better choice for the long run.  This whole process was a constant "kick me while I'm down" scenario, and it really worse me down. 

There is a lot more that happened between then and now, which I will get to later. Right now I am trying to find myself again.  I am lost at sea, home gone, pride swallowed, having to start over with nothing.  I don't know what I want to do, what does one do when they "start over"? My dreams?  Long ago forgotten.  The nights are long, days longer, routines and things I am familiar with, no longer in existence.